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My last post for the year

It's the 30th of December and as I sit down to write, I carry with myself a lot of memories from 2012. It's been a mixed year of sorts, but not one I would want to cherish for the rest of my life. The last four months have been difficult.

I am 26 now. In two months' time I will be 27. It is difficult to believe that I am growing older by the day because my life is not progressing proportionately. My adolescent years were far more eventful and constructive. It's not been a joy-ride but I hope that things will change in 2013.

As I approach 2013, I realize it's been almost four years now that I have been out of college but haven't done anything significant so far or learned anything worth great value. It's high time that I get down to business now. Also, marks four years of loneliness - atleast I was a remote lover of sorts earlier but now I'm a heartbroken quitter. The coming year will also perhaps mark the end to spending two decades in Delhi. It is by large my favourite city. On Thursday I caught up with Vishakh at Connaught Place and it was perhaps the last to our many visits over the past few years. We visited school only to learn that our teacher was on a vacation, to our dismay we walked back to the United Coffee House and sat down for drinks. After that we spent time in Connaught Place hunting for fancy beads for his designer girlfriend in New York and got embarrassed by an old lady inside an emporium who remarked that we were both handsome men. She apparently got excited to sell her stuff and amidst all the desperation wanted to impress us with good things to say about us. But of all things - handsome? Well, I am not balding anymore but I look very fat. It is strange how I always peep into school every time I visit Barakhamba to figure out what's happening inside. This year I decided to skip Access in Vishakh's absence, my first miss in many years since 2002. I don't think I'll visit Modern anymore. My fondest memories of the campus date back to 2003 when I used to return home very late at night, sometimes almost midnight, during preparations for Access. The best part about being in Modern is the huge campus that you become a part of, for the rest of your life. The red bricks, the lush green lawns, the fighter plane and not to miss out - the Banyan Tree. I don't think there is any Modernite in the world who wouldn't carry fond memories of the campus with himself.

Delhi will never be the same anyway, irrespective of whether I decide to leave the city or not because my parents won't be here. Home is where the heart lies and my heart lies with my family, one reason I never ever wanted to go abroad to study. Delhi will not be home anymore, it will be a city that I was once a part of to now just being a city that I would live in for the sake of my career. But if I do happen to leave Delhi, I would always long to get back here to find myself somewhere around Barakhamba Road hanging out with friends inside the campus or throng the streets of Connaught Place to get myself CDs from Palika, the coffee meets at Hauz Khas or for that matter just passing by Sector 62 NOIDA to view my college from a distance - that college which I could never become a part of.

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